Ransom
by yokainomiko
Summary: Oh Yamamoto, that's not how love works. Blackmail is never the answer. Takes place between the Inheritance and Arcobaleno Arcs. 8059


Title: Ransom  
>Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)<br>Pairing/Characters(s): Yamamoto, Gokudera, Tsuna, 8059  
>Genre: RomanceHumor  
>Rating: PG-13T  
>Summary: Oh Yamamoto, that's not how love works. Blackmail is never the answer. Takes place between the Inheritance and Arcobaleno Arcs.<br>Word Count: 1403  
>Notes: Written for the clichés contest on the forums. It had to be 8059, romancehumor, have to do with abduction/kidnapping, cellphones, and be at least 1.2k words long. The word count was definitely the hardest part. I had to change the whole ending. I guess it's more romantic this way?

* * *

><p>"Hey Tsuna."<p>

"Yeah Yamamoto?"

"I've been having these… feelings lately…"

Tsuna started panicking. "Hiiieee! Is there some sort of danger coming? We have to go warn everyone! Did Squalo send you a message or something?"

Before Tsuna could flail anymore and create a scene, Yamamoto grabbed his collar.

"It's not that kind of feeling. It's more of a heart… related thing…"

Tsuna continued to be stupid. "Your heart hurts? Oh my God! What if you're suffering from heart failure from that strange medicine Byakuran gave you? I need to go get Doctor Shamal!"

"Tsuna!" Yamamoto yelled with uncharacteristic seriousness while grasping his shoulders. "I'm in love."

Tsuna blushed. "Oh. Someone I know?"

Yamamoto scratched his head and laughed nervously. "Yeah. It's Gokudera."

"Wha? But he's always insulting you and is only ever nice to me!" Tsuna just couldn't see it.

"I know. Isn't that cute?" Yamamoto eyes softened as he smiled his dumbest grin yet.

"That's… nice?" he wanted to say more, but unfortunately didn't have the vocabulary to know the word "masochist." "So what are you going to do? Are you going to confess? Are you asking for permission or something?" Tsuna sort of considered himself the person in charge of Gokudera, so that would make sense, maybe.

"Nope! I've got a perfect plan to make him love me!"

Tsuna's hyper intuition told him this was going to go terribly wrong.

"I'm going to kidnap you and hold you for ransom!"

Yamamoto looked so excited and Tsuna wasn't number one in unable to refuse requests for nothing, but oh how right the Vongola was.

* * *

><p>"Hey Turf-top! Have you seen the Tenth?" Gokudera grouchily demanded.<p>

"I extremely haven't Octopus-head! Have you tried his house?" Ryohei asked pausing in his training outside the front of Namimori Middle School.

"Of course I have you idiot!" Gokudera fell to the floor in despair. "I'm such a failure as a right-hand man! Before I know it, I'll be downgraded to the shoulder blade and then to the left ankle!"

"Extreme! Should I try to be his right-hand man then?" Ryohei asked. "I can punch extremely straight!"

"You bastard!" Gokudera pulled out some dynamite. "I dare you to try to take my place at Tenth's side!"

"An extreme challenge!" Ryohei's Bangle of the Sun started to glow.

The passerby's in front of the school flinched and started looking for places to escape to.

Gokudera's Buckle of the Storm started reacting as well. "You son of a–"

Thankfully, the students and school were saved by a phone ringing which startled both guardians into diffusing their flames.

"Oh, my cell phone." Gokudera dropped his dynamite and pulled out an iPhone with a skull print on its case.

"Gokudera Hayato, right-hand man of the amazing Vongola Decimo speaking."

There was a noise like a wrapper being crinkled. "I see. This is Motoyama and I've captured your precious Tenth," an awkwardly low voice said.

"What? You have the Tenth? Where is he? He better be okay!" Gokudera yelled.

There was a rustling sound on the end followed by a sigh. "Hey, Gokudera-kun. It's me, Tsuna."

"Tenth! Are you alright? They haven't hurt you have they?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? They haven't threatened your innocence or anything?"

"Hiiiieeee! W-what the hell Gokudera-kun? Why would they do something like that?" Tsuna shrieked. "Look, just, just do what Yama—Motoyama asks and this'll be over soon enough. Then you can check me over yourself."

"Of course Tenth! I would be honored to check on your physical and mental damage received at the end of these horrible perverted kidnappers!" Tsuna wanted to bash his head into a wall at the grin he could hear in Gokudera's voice. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe!"

The phone shifted owners again. "So you now know I'm not bluffing," the strange voice said.

Gokudera gritted his teeth, all pride at being acknowledged by Tsuna gone. "Please! Please tell me what I have to do to get him back!"

"Okay. The terms are simple. You must… go on twenty dates with a person of my choice."

He swore. "So public humiliation then? I knew you guys were perverts." Gokudera sighed. "Fine. I'll throw away my pride for the Tenth. I'm nothing without him anyway."

"Aw, don't be like that Storm Guardian! I'm sure you have plenty of positive attributes other than following Tsuna around!" the strange tone had dropped and become a voice that Gokudera knew all too well, not that he noticed.

"What the hell do you know? And why are you acting so familiar towards the Tenth and me? I already agreed to your terms now give him back!"

"Yay! Gokudera we're going to have so much fun! It'll be like a game! Haha!"

"A game?" he asked. "What? Baseball-idiot? Where'd the kidnapper go?"

"I am the kidnapper! And I'm not letting Tsuna go until you go on twenty dates with me."

Tsuna shrieked. "What? You said that this wouldn't take that much time! What am I going to do about school? Won't my family miss me? Reborn is going to kill me!"

He continued to ramble as Gokudera yelled, "Give Tenth back already! Can't you see how much trouble you're causing?"

He could hear the frown through the phone. "But if I let Tsuna go, you won't date me."

"Damn straight I won't! Give me back the Tenth!"

"After twenty dates!"

"Over my dead body!"

Tsuna started crying as Gokudera continued to scream at his phone. He had stupidly agreed to actually being tied up in a random warehouse on the edge of Namimori and he knew that without his pills and gloves he'd never get to go home. He could see Reborn's menacing smile in his head already and couldn't even imagine the punishment he'd receive for disappearing and worrying his mom.

"GOKUDERA-KUN!" he yelled. Yamamoto dropped the phone and it slipped into speaker mode.

"Yes, Tenth?" he instantly replied, standing straighter even though Tsuna couldn't see them.

"Promise him."

"What?"

"Promise him on your honor as… as my right-hand man that you'll go on the dates if he lets me go."

"But Tenth!"

"No buts! Do you realize how much trouble you're causing me by being stubborn like this? I can't afford the time for twenty dates to happen unless they're five minute dates right in a row."

Gokudera grinned. "That's a good idea Tenth! Okay Baseball-idiot! Twenty dates! Twenty minutes! I'm counting the time it takes to get together!"

"What? But that's not fair Gokudera!"

"We're already halfway done with our first date! Where's Tenth? If you're lucky you can see me before time's up!"

"But—"

Tsuna tugged on Yamamoto's sleeve. "Tell him."

"But that's not part of the plan!" Yamamoto whined.

"Tenth! Where are you?"

"In one of the warehouses on the edge of Namimori, I think? Yamamoto blindfolded me."

Gokudera started running towards the warehouses. "I bet it's the one where those Yakuza we chased out used to hang out. I'm coming Tenth! 3 dates down Baseball-Idiot!"

"Tsuna! What am I going to do? My plan's falling apart." Yamamoto looked so heartbroken that Tsuna had to help.

"Fine. It's the bottom of the ninth inning. The bases are empty and you're losing 2-1 with 2 outs and 2 strikes. You have one shot and the team morale is low. You don't know if they could even handle extra innings. You need a homerun or you need to go home. What do you do Yamamoto?" Tsuna was unusually strong as he gave the breakdown to his Rain Guardian. "Are you going to let your team down?" The question was asked with an orange flare in his eyes.

"No!" Yamamoto's eyes hardened. "I have to wash away the pain and give them the strength to keep going! The game's not over yet!" He picked the phone back up and took it off speaker mode. "Hey Gokudera."

Gokudera luckily had missed all of this strange pep talk. "What is it Baseball-Idiot? If you want to change my mind it's not going to happen. The Tenth's wish is to not be held captive and so I'm going to go rescue him."

"That's fine."

"What?"

Yamamoto swung his metaphorical bat. "I love you."

Gokudera dropped the phone on the ground and the skull on the case cracked down the middle like a strange deformed heart.

The ball went right out the park.


End file.
